It takes courage to experience all your feelings. By feeling excitement you make yourself vulnerable to disappointment, but it’s usually worth the risk.
Sometimes we can be tempted to numb out the uncomfortable feelings like anger, shame, guilt, disappointment. But, you can’t selectively numb out feelings… if you numb the bad, you also numb the good… Many of my clients try to soothe, comfort or distract themselves through uncomfortable feelings with food. They comfort eat or emotionally eat, and usually end up feeling even worse, because this layers shame and guilt into the equation.
Most of us are scared of being vulnerable, scared of being imperfect… ironically it is because we are worried that if people really knew “the truth about us” they wouldn’t like us. We hide ourselves. Ironically in order for connection to happen, which is what we all crave… we need to be seen and loved and known for who we really are, otherwise part of us says “You don’t really love me because you don’t know me, you only love the parts of me I let you see.” So ironically we bring on ourselves the very thing we fear, loneliness, isolation and a sense of disconnection.
In order to be truly connected we have to be willing to be vulnerable. It is through our cracks that love gets in. This is how we relate and share and love and grow and know each other. We are loved despite our flaws, not because of our virtues.
Watch this lovely video… Brene’ Brown unpacks vulnerability so well …
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